WWII Nazi's Tank Manuals: Unexpectedly Hilarious!

"QUANTUM SHOT" #100
Link - article by Avi Abrams



How to "blow'em all up!" and have some fun in the process.

War is supposed to be serious business, right? Well, not according to German WWII technical writers who turned their thick and boring tank manuals for "Tiger" & "Panther" tanks into some sort of a "Popular Science"/"Playboy"/comic book combination.

These juicy manuals proved to be so popular, that they were even translated into Russian language and read throughout the Soviet Army tank corps. Let me show you a couple of genuine Nazi tank manuals, and see if you can learn something from them in a fun and accessible manner.

Tiger Tank Manual, 1943

Heavy Machinery, Military History

The German "Tiger" Tank was introduced in August 1942, at the time being the most powerful tank in the world. The success of the Tiger was so profound, that no Allied tank dared to engage it in open combat. This psychological fear soon became to be known as "Tigerphobia". Drivers inside the tank, in the meantime could peruse the following instructions:

Heavy Machinery, Military History


Diving the "Tiger" is a prestigious business, similar to driving a "Mercedes":

Heavy Machinery, Military History


Driving on highways will get you as far as Berlin, but if you go off-road you'll only get as far as Brandenburg - and it's going to take a lot of fuel! -

Heavy Machinery, Military History


Good communication is essential for "having a good-time", in peaceful times as well as during wartime:

Heavy Machinery, Military History


You should take good care of your tank shells, just as you take good care of your girl:

Heavy Machinery, Military History


Good aim is everything! -

Heavy Machinery, Military History


You have to be a certain kind of artist in your heart, to drive a tank:

Heavy Machinery, Military History


Aiming your shots right will bring Ivan to his knees faster:

Heavy Machinery, Military History


When preparing to shoot, note how fast you're going:

Heavy Machinery, Military History


Take good care of your tank! Thousands of German workers toiled endlessly to make sure that you get a top quality product, and after all, German engineering, as we all know, does not come cheap:

Heavy Machinery, Military History
(images via Egland)


"Panther" Tank Manual, 1942

"Captured Panthers proved to be extremely popular vehicles among Soviet troops, who received them as rewards for extraordinary achievements in combat, and who sought to keep them in service as long as possible..."

Heavy Machinery, Military History

"... contrary to regulations that captured Tigers and Panthers should not be repaired but abandoned and destroyed after mechanical failure. Even the humorous instruction manuals for German Panther crews, called Pantherfibels (a Panther Primer), were duly translated into Russian and provided to the crews lucky enough to get a captured Panther." (more info)

Heavy Machinery, Military History
Heavy Machinery, Military History
Heavy Machinery, Military History
Heavy Machinery, Military History
Heavy Machinery, Military History
Heavy Machinery, Military History
Heavy Machinery, Military History
Heavy Machinery, Military History
(images via)

American soldiers also could enjoy their own version of technical humour:

Heavy Machinery, Military History

...and only dead-serious communists refused to spice up the "T-34" tank manuals with pictures of pretty Komsomol members.

Sources: WorldWar2Aces, Egland, 3DModels


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