The new Sixth generation BMW 5 Series takes its chassis and big V8 from the flagship 7 for some added joy, writes Road Test Editor HOWARD WALKER
Ultimate Driving Machine. As advertising lines go, they just don’t come much better. A perfect, three-word encapsulation of the performance character built into every BMW. You can bet Mad Men’s Don Draper would have poured himself a double had he come up with that gem.
But forget all about Ultimate Driving Machines. Now it’s all about Joy. Which seems pretty strange when you think that most people associate Joy with donning a pair of rubber gloves and doing the dishes!
BMW is Joy. OK, I get it. It’s all about the joyous feeling you get when you slide behind the wheel and try to change radio stations with the still-dysfunctional iDrive control. Maybe not that kind of Joy.
Just as I was feeling a wave of cynicism starting to wash over me, I punched the right pedal of the brand new BMW 550i sedan I’ve been driving, felt the towering thrust of its 400 twin-turbocharged horses and 450 foot pounds of twist, and there it was; pure, unadulterated, smile-as-wide-as-Julia-Roberts, joy.
Joy is definitely this new 5 Series. While the 3-Series has always struck me as a little shrunken, and the plutocratic, every-diplomat-must-have-one 7 Series too porky, to my eyes the Five has always been just right. And the latest version builds on this spatial just-rightness. Being a couple of inches longer than the outgoing model, it gives those in the back some welcome extra kneeroom.
See it spearing by you on 41 and you’d be forgiven for mistaking this new Five for a Seven. That trademark twin-kidney-shaped grille is wider and more upright than before – just like the Seven’s – and the sculptured hood has been lengthened to pool table proportions.
And it looks gorgeous, especially with midnight-blue paint and rolling on those optional 19-inch multi-spoke rims. Gaze at the car in profile and the new swoopy roofline gives it more than a hint of a coupe. And the way that BMW badge on the hood creates a vee-shaped wake behind it is nothing less than automotive art.
Inside, this design perfection continues. This is one classy-looking cabin, lined with beautifully embossed leathers, perfect stitching and fine detailing. It’s like sitting inside a Coach handbag!
In true BMW style, the front seats grip you like a hug from an old friend. Naturally, they’re a little on the firm side, but the standard 10-way power adjustment guarantees a perfect driving position. And to help with the airport run, the trunk has been increased in size. You can also get a rear seatback with a 60/40 split that folds flat. Call it the Joy of Practicality.
The real joy, however, comes when you punch the ‘start’ button on the dash and bring to life BMW’s Teflon-smooth 4.4-liter bi-turbo V-8 (Just how 4.4 liters translates into 550i I haven’t a clue). But here is one of the world’s greatest automotive engines, that when mated to ZF’s new eight-speed automatic, delivers true driving nirvana.
This car isn’t just quick, it’s insanely fast. Red light to 60mph comes up in under five seconds. But it’s the breathtaking pace at which it sweeps past lumbering 18-wheelers that will steal your breath. Yet it delivers this Learjet-like thrust with spooky silence. Sleeping babies breathe louder than this new 550i in attack mode. And, aided by an arsenal of computer-driven driving aids with an alphabet soup of abbreviations – how about DDC, IAS, EPS, DDC and ARS – it changes direction like Maverick and Goose in Top Gun.
The jury’s still out on the new electric steering. Not having too many curves in this part of the Sunshine State, it’s hard to come up with a definitive verdict. But it does feel a tad over-assisted and artificial.
Through the curves however, the new multi-link front suspension delivers impressive turn-in while the Driving Dynamics Control gives you the choice of Comfort, Normal, Sport and Sport+ suspension settings to suit your driving mood. As a hard-driving machine, it doesn’t disappoint.
You’ll pay $60,500 for the basic 550i, but with all the toys you’ll want and need, expect to pay closer to $80,000. Our test car stickered at $77,500 without the gotta-have $3,000 ventilated seat package.
Make no mistake; this new Five certainly justifies its Ultimate Driving Machine tag. Well, at least until the M5 lands in a year or so. Just think of this new 550i as an ode to Joy.
For more information on BMW vehicles, please visit
http://www.bmwofsarasota.com/showroom/index.htm
http://www.bmwusa.com/default.aspx