A CROSS chap in an RAC lorry has left me revisiting one of the biggest questions in motoring.
He was driving along to somewhere important this morning along the M62 - the very same stretch of motorway I needed to join en-route to IKEA. Because my better half needed a bookcase too big for any of the Life On Cars fleet, I was at the helm of a Ford Transit, and might have got a bit carried away with the whole White Van Man thing.
Put simply, I might have cut him up. Cue an angry flash of the lorry's headlamps.
Still locked into Transit mode, and with the window convenientally open, I immediately wanted to figure out how many fingers I should put up at the driver to make him aware of my discontent. Only I didn't, because a split second later I realised he wasn't being unecessarily uppity. It was in fact me who was driving like a berk. What I should have been doing, in fact, was apologising.
Which brings me to the big question; how? There are, as I'm all too aware, a multitude of hand gestures and angry facial expressions to let someone know they've been a wally* at the wheel. You can also plant your hand on the centre of the steering wheel to voice your disapproval through a patronisingly long parp of the horn, or you can flash your headlights in disgust.
Yet I can't think of any convenient, universally-understood gesture or signal that means "Sorry, my mistake". Giving a wave or a thumbs-up can be easily misunderstood and wind up the motorist you've already angered even more, which means that eating humble pie at the helm of a white Transit - in fact, any vehicle - is next to impossible. So what do you do?
Clearly, the Government and the great and good of the motoring world should get together, thrash it out and work it out, because Britain's motorists need a symbol so they can easily say they're sorry. It wouldn't just cut down on confusion, it'd save accidents and road rage. People would arrive at the office happy and be more productive as a result. It could also be used in other places you can't speak to people you've just peeved off - nightclubs for instance - so clearly it's something which could transform our society if it's successful. Britain needs a new apology gesture, and the campaign should start here.
I think I'm owed a few apologies off other motorists as it is!
*With The Champion being a family publication "wally" is a substitution for a certain other word beginning with 'W' which most wound-up motorists actually use...