A GIRL I USED to go out with a long time ago had a very particular aversion to chocolate.
She was - for someone not even remotely interested in cars - a lovely lass, but presented with even the smallest, crumliest smidgen of Cadbury's Flake she'd always retort the same mantra, which I've heard countless women retort since. A moment on the lips, a lifetime on the hips.
I reckon anyone into cars should adopt a similar chant when it comes to cornering; a moment on the bend, a lifetime on the mend. In other words, skimping on the right tyres can be the difference between being a master of the mountain roads and being the sorry soul who ends up in a field. As I've just discovered with probably the wisest £100 I've ever spent.
Until yesterday I had a set of Camacs - possibly the worst tyres ever made, despite being completly road legal, officer - performing the not-at-all daunting task of getting the power from my Mazda MX-5's rear wheels onto the road, and they were at best hilariously hopeless and at worst life-threateningly dangerous. For barely controllable oversteer at 15mph, just add water.
You might think tyres are just boring rings of rubber that you reluctantly slap on every 15,000 miles or so but the difference between my old ditch-finders and the brand new Toyos I've replaced them with is profound. It is, in non car speak, the difference between venturing up Snowdon in trainers and doing the job properly in a set of walking boots.
Despite being the same size, shape and material, the Toyos find grip where the Camacs wouldn’t, particularly in the greasy, wet, muddy conditions you’re likely to encounter in most corners at this time of the year. You can, courtesy of your right foot and a healthy dose of foolhardiness, still get the MX-5 seriously sideways if you want to, but no longer does it threaten to kill you every time you approach a damp roundabout.
Nor, by the way, are the benefits of pukka tyres restricted to the world of powerful rear-wheel-drivers; last year I swapped the ancient Dunlops on my old Mini for a set of sticky new Yokohamas, and in an instant it pulled away, handled and stopped better. I reckon if all blokes took tyres as seriously as a certain other type of rubber, there'd be far fewer instances of cars spinning off into lamposts and ploughing into ditches.
If there's one thing in motoring that's emphatically not worth skimping on, it's tyres. A moment on the bend, remember, is a lifetime on the mend.