LAST Sunday night I did something very stupid. I should have heeded the warnings. Cars, drink and mobile phones are a dangerous combination.
Luckily, I'd had just the one pint of Guinness so I realised when I'd had a lucky escape. I sauntered sadly back to the bar, ordered another and stuck the change in the jukebox. As I dipped my lips into the creamy froth I contemplated what I'd very nearly just done; I'd very nearly bought an old sports car over a pint with a smartphone.
Again.
The problem, your honour, started a couple of months ago when I realised that what my life was missing was a Mazda MX-5, the little soft top sports cars you see being driven around in the height of summer with their pop-up headlights and their grinning owners. So I sold the Mini and started saving up. Eventually, the day came when I realised I'd earned just about enough to get a tidy little runner.
That's how, over a quiet pint, a mate whipped out his smartphone, fired up eBay and introduced me to a world into which I've never previously ventured; buying cars on eBay. He had just the thing for me - a nice, clean MX-5 with 85,000 alleged miles on the clock, and mine for just £660. As long as nobody else outbid me in the minute the auction had left to go.
"£750," I chirped confidently. "Nobody's going to offer more than that with a minute to go."
But they did. Some smug so-and-so immediately offered £770. It was getting tense, and I was lost in the cerebral buzz of it all.
"£800. Thirty seconds."
The bargain MX-5 of the century was mine. Then it wasn't. The smug so-and-so chipped in with £820. The final 15 seconds were fading fast.
"£850," I nodded to my smartphone-wielding mate. "I'll give you the money for it tomorr..."
"Sorry mate, it's gone", my mate replied with a sympathetic expression. "Someone's got a bargain for £820."
And that was it. I'd either missed it or survived a close call with destiny. Either way, I'd just tried to buy a car on the other side of the country, completely unseen, with a smartphone and a pint of Guinness Extra Cold to guide me.
I escaped buying an old car on eBay and realised my lucky escape. I celebrated immediately with another pint.